‘As it dips its cold dry feet into the boiling oil,
It screams, little tiny potato screams.
‘nooooooooooo, kill me first!’
This is a first hand account of a fried food rights observer.
All over the world, vegetables, chickens and fishies are screaming.
Scientists ignore their plight because ‘they taste better when they scream’
Screaming of vegetables supposedly helps the starch turn into sugar.
Tempura for example is tastier when the vegetables are tortured with knives and held at knife point into the boiling oily pot.
Scientists are said to become aroused by this and many erections have been noted.
The little chickens that have been fried have said to have made Jamie Oliver ‘come out all goose pimply’
Like ‘the first time he fingered some calves liver’.
People, this is the world we are ignoring, this is the real deal!
I deplore, hell, I beg you to send out a million emails to anyone you don’t know and tell them of the terrible tempura plight that is facing this planet.
David Cameron said recently ‘My god, I didn’t realise, from now on I will only be frying my underpants to dry them after a hard days cycling’.
If David Cameron is doing his bit, stop being twisted and start hearing their screams!
I have heard the new conservative slogan will be,
‘if you see a scientist with an erection, stop frying!’