Featurepuss and Bangathon
This plucky pair sure get themselves into some worrysome scrapes! You can help the adventuring duo escape from 9 brain-bending fixes!
- Featurepuss and Bangathon wake one morning to find their bed entirely surrounded by giant flesh-eating worms. The bedside drawer contains a hairbrush, a bottle of contact lens solution, a magnifying glass and a paper-weight in the shape of a skull. How can Featurepuss and Bangathon escape the wrigglesome rascals?
- Featurepuss is stuck in an airtight chamber slowly filling up with laughing gas. Explosives, wired to his facial muscles, will be set off by the slightest chuckle. Bangathon watches helplessly from behind a reinforced glass screen, armed only with a toothbrush and a sock. How can Bangathon save Featurepuss from literally laughing his head off?
- Bangathon is falling from a plane, but her parachute won’t open. An undersea volcano suddenly erupts and turns the ocean directly beneath her into bubbling magma soup. Featurepuss, piloting the plane, is being attacked by seabirds driven mad by the toxic smoke. Both are equipped with magnets and butter. How can Featurepuss save Bangathon from being boiled alive?
- As Featurepuss explores a lunar ice cavern, a freak orbital oscillation causes the ice to melt and re-freeze, trapping our hero helplessly inside ten tonnes of solid moon-ice. Bangathon is back on the spaceship, enjoying a mayonnaise sandwich. How can Featurepuss be saved from ending up a snowman on the moon?
- Bangathon is captured by a gang of crazed fat cats while trying to withdraw her savings from a collapsing bank. Driven to the point of insanity by relentless economic gloom, the cats believe they can reverse the downwards spiral by liquidising poor Bangathon’s assets on the altar of high finance. Featurepuss arrives on the scene with a fistful of Monopoly money and a deflated balloon. How can he save Bangathon from being credit crunched?
- A gluttonous pervert has doused Featurepuss in concentrated pig pheromones and set him loose in a forest filled with raving truffle hogs. Concealed in a nearby thicket, Bangathon is equipped with a lump of play-dough and a bottle of sweet chilli sauce. How can Bangathon save Featurepuss’s bacon?
- While exploring the ruins of an ancient city, Featurepuss unleashes a rotten old ghost who pursues him through the catacombs into a small stone chamber. The walls begin to rumble inwards, bristling with iron spikes. Bangathon hurries from her field tent with an monocle, a dousing stick and an archaeologist’s hammer. How can she rescue Featurepuss from being a holey ghost himself?
- Featurepuss and Bangathon are playing kiss-chase, but someone has swapped Bangathon’s lipstick for industrial-strength superglue. As Bangathon closes in, having cornered Featurepuss in an alley, romantic music starts to play. How can Featurepuss escape the fate of being stuck in an eternal kiss while avoiding giving his sweetheart the impression he doesn’t fancy her?
- The reckless burning of fossil fuels and the over-consumption of natural resources have brought the planet to the brink of ecological meltdown, but the world’s governments are too corrupt and stupid to facilitate the timely transfer to the sustainable society necessary for humanity’s long-term survival. Featurepuss and Bangathon are equipped only with love and imagination. How can the plucky pair prevent the planet from burning?
Bangathon is falling from a plane, but her parachute won
Featurepuss and Bangathon wake one morning to find their bed entirely surrounded by giant flesh-eating worms. The bedside drawer contains a hairbrush, a bottle of contact lens solution, a magnifying glass and a paper-weight in the shape of a skull. How can Featurepuss and Bangathon escape the wrigglesome rascals?
>> First, they look at that memento mori paperweight and remember that if they don’t do this right, they will die. Then, they must expertly cover their legs up to the knees in contact lense solution, which will hopefully deter and confuse the worms if they stand up. While one of them wields the hairbrush to beat off attackers, the other uses the magnifying glass to burn the worms around them. They must make their way to the door of their room in this fashion. Once they have escaped, clutching the skull-weight, they can feel sheepish about the fact that they ended up in the same bed *again* last night, despite the fact that they are both married.
Great work at solving these puzzlesome riddles. There is no problem without a solution. Any more?
Featurepuss and Bangathon are playing kiss-chase, but someone has swapped Bangathon’s lipstick for industrial-strength superglue. As Bangathon closes in, having cornered Featurepuss in an alley, romantic music starts to play. How can Featurepuss escape the fate of being stuck in an eternal kiss while avoiding giving his sweetheart the impression he doesn’t fancy her?
>> If Featurepuss is unaware of the fact that Bangathon has super sticky lips then he has no chance, and they shall stay forever ‘making out’.
If, however, Featurepuss knows that Bangathon has superglue on her lips then he must have either been responsible for the swap, complicit in the act, or have kept silent about it. Whichever is the case, there are two possibilities.
If his motive was an ill-judged joke he will take the smacker right on the lips and, after a suitable length of time to induce panic, but not despair, in Bangathon, he will douse their entwined labia in an appropriate solvent and, once they are free of the infernal smooch, laugh heartily at what a good joke he has played. He will probably get a slap and never be allowed to play kisschase again.
If his motive was malevolent he will allow Bangathon to get right up close before pulling out a large photo of George Clooney, advertising the Nespod coffee system, knowing Bangathon cannot resist the Cloonster. She will be stuck to this hateful image of handsomeness perverted for all time whilst Featurepuss pursues his lifelong dream of rollerskating on Muscle Beach, CA, cruising for studs.