Star Facts
Under Scrutiny and RobotDan bring you the stars, and the facts that propel them through the celebrity universe.
Nicholas Cage
- Nicholas Cage started out as a doctor, and invented the then famous 'Wilhelm Slice'
- Nicholas Cage's amazing hair is maintained by a billion zillion nanobots
- Nicholas Cage reveres Bruce Willis, and prays to him when other people are talking
Pierce Brosnan
- Pierce Brosnan's motto is 'Milk It, Don't Wilt It'
- Pierce Brosnan conditions his hair with a mixture of cuckoo spit and guar gum
- Pierce Brosnan has a personal robot helper he calls The BrosnoBot
Kevin Bacon
- Kevin Bacon has transparent skin - it's his blood that's pink
- Kevin Bacon has never owned an mp3 player, but he did invent a new kind of gong
- Kevin Bacon makes up for the lack of sight with a heightened enthusiasm for sexual exchange
Liv Tyler
- Liv Tyler had cosmetic surgery that involved injecting her lips with octopus gelatin
- Liv Tyler has a pet dog called Dog Tyler, a lovable rapscallion of a pooch
- Liv Tyler emits a shriek like a kettle whenever she sees a blond-haired child
Joe Pasquale
- Joe Pasquale has three computers, one in each room of his house
- Joe Pasquale has more divinity inside him than that in our sun, although Pasquale is not recognised by the Vatican at all
- Depending on his mood, Joe Pasquale spells his name differently. When he is happiest, he spells it JOE PSSSQKKWWWALIE!
Nicolas Sarkozy
- Nicolas Sarkozy can make sparks fly out of other people's fingernails. He does this as a trick on waiters in restaurants
- Nicolas Sarkozy has invented 18 new jokes, 11 of which are listed in the List of Official Jokes as 'very funny'
- Nicolas Sarkozy has a dragon's egg wrapped up in a duvet at the end of his bed. Every morning he checks it for signs of hatching
Sean Bean
- Sean Bean provided the motion capture data for Lord of the Ring's C.G.I. Mr. Bean
- Sean Bean was born 'Sean Pain', but changed it via 'Sean Bain'
- Sean Bean has six fingers on his right foot
Andi Peters
- Andi Peters has put his name to a British made assualt rifle, the 'Peter 200'
- Andi Peters was bitten in the bath by a spider last Wednesday. He didn't say where, but we speculate it was in his bathroom!
- Andi Peters is twelve, and is the youngest member of the broom cupboard
Daniel Craig
- Daniel Craig is a scentaholic. His favourite scent is wet hair
- Daniel Craig is named after two historical boxers: Craig Payne and Daniel Mendoza
- Daniel Craig almost became Mrs. Doubtfire after a chemical mix-up at the Paramount Studios scrambled his brain
Cat Power
- Cat Power squeezes milk from celery stalks and celery juice from other people's hair
- Cat Power was initially called Rat Power, but was sued by an Australian soft toy manufacturer of the same name
- Cat Power is occasionally tormented by Goldfrapp's malevolent poltergeist, making her miss some of the words in her songs
Ben Kingsley
- Ben Kingsley was actually born King Bensley, but wasn't a very good king
- Ben Kingsley has an abortive third ear situated near his coccyx
- Ben Kingsley likes to swallow popping corn and sit in a hot jacuzzi until he achieves 'Big Poppin' Time'
Uma Thurman
- Uma Thurman was born in Thurnamuma, Hawaii. Her name is an anagram of Thurnamuma
- Uma Thurman creates almost half of all published Sudukos, and all Spiderukos
- At 8 feet tall, Uma Thurman is taller than even old Abe Lincoln's ghost
Horseface Pumpson
- Horseface Pumpson first appeared on our screens as 'The Rumping Pumpkin Man' in the popular children's show Tales from Pokey Poke Farm
- Horseface Pumpson sleeps in a hammock at the bottom of your garden
- Horseface Pumpson has had sexual adventures with nine of the twelve people listed above. The remaining three 'have it coming,' he says
Note: All the facts above are probably untrue
I LOVE IT!
you gotta love those wacky celebs!
this is how heat magazine should read.
Wonderful! I just was a little bit sick with laughter