Update 14/05/09: Lord Scrutiny confronted outside his home.
The public demands answers today as it is revealed by an anonymous leak that Under Scrutiny, despite the vast salary he is paid by alittlepoison.com, has claimed for the following items on expenses:
- Six duck heads
- An R Kelly fridge magnet
- A hot water bottle in the shape of David Cameron’s face
- A Wispa bar from the Bristol Marriott hotel @ £3.56
- One Pay Per View film ‘The Lion King’
- One Pay Per View film ‘Decoys’, an adult film about alien sex workers
- A pair of green socks, thought to be for his lover
- A peak time bus ticket to Alton Towers
- A peak time return ticket to the moon
- A fridge magnet showing under scrutiny on the moon with Elton John @ £111.90
- A six-pack of ‘Ambiplex’ to feed his cat, Cockula
- A trout
- Polygamy lessons, Islington Tantric Health Centre @ £600
- 156 visits to various tanning salons (throughout 2007/08)
- Stained glass windows installed in attic of second home
- Sky TV ‘American Heroes’ film and sport package
- Three business suits tailor made from white lace
- 17 x Eurostar tickets (First class, return)
- 12 x vials of croissant digestion aids
- Monogrammed hammer and tongs
- Hair care products @ £620
- Hare care products @ £570
- Care Bear products @ £30
- A ‘Best Of’ Stephen Fry box set
Rob Haddock from Scrutiny’s constituency said ‘I find it particularly outrageous seeing as I wrote to him saying I needed to be relocated to the moon because of carbon monoxide poisoning and he didn’t even reply.’ Ben Hobbs added ‘My lover has no socks and I work thirty hours a day to save up for some. He should have to buy everyone a pair of socks out of his own pocket.’ Yet Maeve Binchy was more sympathetic: ‘These look like necessities to me, I think he is doing a wonderful job’.
What is your view on Under Scrutiny’s spending spree? Do you know of anything else he has recklessly bought with public funds?