Chip-shop Romp-coms
There aren't any cheap sordid paperback novels set in fish and chip shops, but if there were, they might be graced by these titles.
- Fishing for Love
- Open or Wrapped?
- Sar-dame Sandwich
- Vinegar on That
- Deep Love Fryer
- Hook, Line and Sinker
- Chipforking at Dawn
- Trawlerman
- Cockles and Winkles
- Out of Saveloys
- Batterboy Blues
- Briny Afternoons
- Sex and Vinegar
- Dirty Apron
- My Plaice or your Plaice, or Cod?
- It Came Inside A Newspaper
- Cooking While You Wait
- Tasting Mr. Chicken Pie
- Big Portions
- Battered Sausage
- Tartar's Sauce
- Fishcakes
- Batter This
- Chiphearts
- Vinegar Nights
- Boiling Oil
- Mushy Pleas
- 375 Degrees
- Hand in the Till
- Finger Licking
- Too Hot to Unwrap
- Extra Sauce Please
- Scampi Underwear
- Ethically Sourced, Unethically Sauced!
- Skinned and Boned
- Small Fry
- No Leftovers
- Greasy Papers
- Sashay of Sauce
- Jumbo
- Crabs, Sticks
- Chip's Butty
- Tender Chicken Combo
- Heaving Beverages
- Clams, Clams and Greasy Fingers
- Up the Halibut
- Self-Service
- Eat In or Out
- Prawn Star
- 10p Extra
- She Couldn't Wash The Smell Out of Her Hair
- The Fat Drainer
- Monkfish: Not So Holy
- Deep Sea Jiving
- Tickled Eggs
- Love Butty
- Fish Fingered
- Cod To Go
- Haddock Takes Longer
- Asking For It
- Don't Let It Go Cold
- Finishing Him Off Tomorrow Morning
- Jellied Feels
- Tartare for the Good Times
- Caught this Morning
- Unmarried, Calamari
- Pineapple Frotters
- Caught in Your Fishnets
- Saturday Job
- Five Minutes, Sir
- Double-bag it please
- Smells Fresh
- Too Many Bones
- Hard W-nk In The Chip Shop
- Pickle my Eggs
- Dirty Oil
- Takes Two Cans of Tango
- You're No Shrimp
- Swallowed A Bone
- Slippery Sole
- Love Crabs
- Fishing For Condiments
- Salt Water Haul
- Wet Fish
- Mexican Wedges
- Family Business
- There is no Cod
- Choking On Every Bone
- Squeezing Mayo
- Can't Keep It In My Pants: My Wallet
- Flash In The Pan
- Suck My Lemon
- If Fish Had Dicks
- Get Your Cockles out of My Hand
Wow, you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about fish n chip shop based romantic novels.
Did you cook them up whilst stuck in the chippy waiting for a saveloy?
You done all the best ones, but here’s a few more anyhow:
codpiece
lunchtime special
over the counter service
vamps, tramps and heatlamps
by fryer arrangement
halibut are not the only fish
i was a teenage chipslut
savoir saveloy
eating it at the bus stop
a plaice in my heart
two pickled eggs and a jumbo gherkin
fuck nuggets
the pollock’s bollocks
a midsummer night’s bream
all’s whelk that ends whelk
(these are getting less erotic and more shakespearean, sorry) and finally…
suck, f*ck and uncle buck down the chippy (RD!)
I must point out that the correct spelling of the oft-maligned whitefish is ‘Pollack’. (But the rhyme holds true.)
These are all immense (apart from the egg jokes, which are just obscene). I can’t think of any more, and I love fish, and chips! And romance, of course. Uh oh… a few dregs…
Don’t Stake and Kid Me Heart
(Hali)but, I Still Love You
Hard Prawn
Catch of The Day
Soft, White Flesh
Alive, Alive-O!
Shush now.
Whelk and Truly
Two Shoes, again you’ve totally topped our efforts. Someone at work said your ones were the funniest.